I am a Better Tipper than Tiger Woods

The Postgame.com – Tiger Woods might never return to the top of theWorld Golf Rankings, but at least the disgraced former star has earned a No. 1 ranking in something.

Woods, despite a net worth of $500 million, is the worst celebrity tipper in America. Eldrick’s excuse: He never carries cash. Woods is said to have made a woman in Las Vegas tip for him when they went out. While playing $10,000-a-hand blackjack, Tiger re-pocketed a $5 tip after realizing he tipped her early in the night.

The golfer isn’t the only sports star making the Miami New Times Short Order blog list of “Top Ten Cheapest Celebrity Tippers.”

The story was put together by Lee Klein of the New Times, who says he compiled information from more than a half-dozen sites devoted to tipping.

“The same names kept coming up again and again,” Klein says.

LeBron James was one of them. The King was given a gift from the gods in the form of basketball talent, but leaving a gratuity is a different story. James, with a net worth of $120 million, turns into a cheapskate when the bill arrives. The Miami Heat star is ranked fourth on the New Times list, thanks in part to a generous $10 tip on a $800 bill from a Cleveland steak house he made stay open until 4 a.m.

So Tiger Woods never carries cash huh?  Yo Tiger, I don’t carry cash either, you know why, cause I live with my mother and every penny I do earn goes towards my education that took my 5 years to earn and will take my 20 to pay off.  You know what I’m doing with that education?  Bitching on the internet about how cheap you are.  You suck.

I went to Vegas 3 years ago with some college buddies for Spring Break, I fucking love that city and hate anyone who gets to go when I’m not there (fuck you Johnny)  I was at the Bellagio and lost $100 on war in about 30 minutes, I hit the ATM, won back my original $100, went up another $100, put that hondo on black, hit it, then played 2-5 no limit for about 45 minutes and made another $80.  So after about an hour and a half of gamble I’m up $280, awesome.

At this point it’s about 3ish in the morning and I sit at the bar with my friends who aren’t big gamblers because they’re smarter than me, but they’re big drinkers.  So being smarter than me they convince to spend the majority of my winnings on drinks for all, why the fuck not.  It’s not real money right?  (Note, it is real money you idiots)  After a few jager bombs and some beers, I tip out the bartender who tells me “OHHHHH, You bettah tippah dan Tigah Woods!” (in the most offensive Asian accent you can imagine)  I didn’t really believe him at first, but now it’s official.  I (and apparently anyone else who ever tips… ever) am a better tipper than Tiger Woods.

Thanks Tim for the story.

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About bazzlebabble

Young, unemployed, and looking to blog.

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